Ibimenyetso 8 bizereka umukobwa ko umusore bakundana ari inshuti y’ukuri

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Mu irushanwa ryo gushaka urukundo nyarwo, abantu benshi baratsinda, abandi na bo bagatsindwa. Iyo urushaho kumarana igihe kinini n’uwo mukundana icyo gihe muramenyana, buri wese akamenya imyitwarire ya mugenzi we, akamenya ibyo akunda nibyo yanga. Ariko icyo gihe rero hari ibimenyetso bishobora kuguhamiriza ko uwo mukundana ari we nyawe utibeshya.

Aha ni ho uba ugomba gutandukanya urukundo nyarwo n’urukundo rw’akanya gato (agahararo) icyo wakwita irari. Iyo umaze kwinjira mu rukundo uba ugifite urujijo wibaza niba uwo mukundana ari we wa nyawe cyangwa atari we.

Aha hari ibimenyetso umunani bishobora kuguhamiriza neza ko umusore mukandana ari we wa nyawe nurangiza kubisoma utangira ubisuzume ku mukunzi wawe biri bugufashe kumenya neza ko agukunda by’ukuri cyangwa agufitiye irari:

1. Agutega amatwi :

Ikimenyetso cya mbere cy’ingenzi kiguhamiriza ko imibanire yanyu ishingiye ku urukundo nyarwo ni igihe buri wese aba ashobora kuba yamenekera undi akamubwira ikiri ku mutima we maze nna we akamutega amatwi. Niba ushobora kuba waganirira ibibazo byawe umusore mukundana, akakumva, akagushyigikira, akagufasha gusohoka mu bibazo wagize agatuma wumva uguwe neza urwo ni urukundo nyarwo.

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2. Uri uwibanze kuri we :

Ntabwo bisaba ko amagambo ari yo yasobanura uburyo uri uw’ingenzi/ uw’agaciro kuri we ahubwo ibikorwa bye ni byo bikwereka ko uri uw’agaciro / uw’ibanze mu buzima bwe. Niba aguha umwanya nk’uwo aha umuryango we uwo ni we. Niba ahugiye mu kazi ke ariko akaba aguha agaciro mu myanzuro afata uwo ni umukunzi, ariko niba ahugira mu bandi akazibuka ko nawe ubaho nyuma y’igihe, umenye ko urukundo rwanyu rwubatse k’umusenyi.

3. Aba yumva yakubera umurinzi :

Umukunzi wa nyawe ahora aguhangayikiye, akifuza ko wabaho nta kibi kikugeraho, nta guhangayika, ugahora unezerewe. Ni yo mpamvu aba yumva yakuubera umurinzi w’ubuzima bwawe.

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4. Yishimira iterambere ryawe :

Umuntu ufite urukundo rw’ukuri iteka yishimira kubona umukunzi we yageze kuri byinshi mu buzima, ukora cyane. Ariko umugabo nyawe iteka yifuza ko umukunzi we agera kuri byinshi ndetse ku murusha kandi yishimira ibyo wagezeho. iteka ahora  yishimira kubwira n’inshuti ze , n’ umuryango ibyo wagezeho nk’umukunzi we, aterwa ishema no kuvuga ibyo wagezeyo/ insinzi yawe mu bandi.

5. Yubaha ibitekerezo byawe :

Nubwo umugabo bimugora cyangwa se adakunda ko hari uwahakana icyemezo aba yafashe, iyo ari mu rukundo arakureka nawe nk’umukunzi we ukagira icyo uvuga ku myanzuro iba yafashwe , igitekerezo cyawe akagiha agaciro. Niba yubaha ibitekerezo byawe akaguha amahirwe yo kugira icyo uvuga, uwo ni we mugabo nyawe ugukwiye mufate umukomeze.

6. Ni wowe akesha umunezero yaburiye ahandi :

Ubuzima bwiy’isi ni ntamunoza ntawuhora yishimye kuko no kubabara na byo bibaho muri ubu buzima, gusa kuba ubuzima bwanyu nkabakundana bwaba ubuzima bwuzuye umunezero n’ibyishimo biri mu biganza byanyu , amahitamo ni ayanyu. Niba aza akamarana umwanya nawe muri bya bihe aba atanezerewe cyangwa atishimye uwo ni uwawe genda umukomereho. Muri byinshi akora buri munsi aba yumva atahomba kubana nawe buri segonda.

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7. Uhora uri mwiza mu maso ye :

Hari ubwo ugira ubwoba ko nusaza uwo mukundana azakwanga, ariko umugabo nyawe ahora agushima kandi ahora akubonamo ubwiza n’ibyiza kubera ko kuri we ibigaragarira amaso ntabyo yitayeho, n’iso wagize impinduka ku bigaragarira inyuma, we akomeza kukubonamo bwa bwiza yyabbonye mu mutima wewe no mu mico yawe. Ntazavuga ibyimpinduka z’umubiri wawe kubera ko akunda umutima wawe ntakunda umubiri wawe gusa.

8. Ntatinya kuba umunyantege nke imbere yawe :

Kimwe mu bintu bigora umugabo nukukwereka amarangamutima ye n’ibyiyumviro bye ntaba ashaka kugaragara nk’umunyantege nke imbere yawe. Ariko niba aruhijwe n’ibihe arimo bitamworoheye akaba yarira, afite ubwoba bw’uko yakubura jya umuhobera cyane umukomeze kuko ubwo ni wowe aba akeneye kuko uri uwa mbere mu buzima bwe.

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